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well, the wife went out of town about a year or so back and left me at home by myself to batch and after five straight nights of tv i was ready to scream. so i called up this beer drinking buddy of mine and said: "bill, i ain't havin' a real good time". he said: "why don't we go to the wrestling matches and let off a little steam?". the main event was the spider from parts unknown with his trusty partner the blue cyclone and they were taking on a team that never had been beat. i'd never seen the matches before and when we reached that arena door the crowd was already backed clear out in the street. people were pushing and shoving like cattle. just getting in line was a heck of a battle. we head to fight like the devil but we finally got ring side seats. well, we bought a program as we passed through the door. went to sections d seats three and four and about that time the announcer stepped into the ring. he said: "tonight's the greatest card we've ever signed. we gotta tag team match that'll blow your mind!". then they lowered the lights and the crowd began to scream. he introduced the spider from parts unknown with his trusty partner the blue cyclone and they were taking on a team that never had been beat. the ref checked them over and the rules were explained and somebody hollared: "the spider's got a chain!" and in came the vulture with his manager, sneaky pete. well, they ran the bell and all hell broke loose. my leg's were shaking like a rubber goose. i'd never seen anything like this not even in the war. the cyclone put the vulture in an airplane spin, then he body slammed him...and he did it again! i swear i couldn't see how much more that ol' boy could take. it was right about then in the thick of things my buddy bill threw a chair in the ring and that's when i knew we better be headin' for the door. 'cause i saw the cyclone lookin' at us and his rubbin' his head and startin' to cuss and i knew if he caught us he'd break bill's neck for sure! well, where we parked wasn't too far and bill ran so fast he beat me to the car. locked the doors and wasn't about to let anyone in. i turned around and the cyclone was there. he said: "hey, punk, you forgot your chair!". and by the look in his eyes i knew that this was the end. so i screamed: "watch it, pal! i run a school where i teach karate and ju jitsu!" but before i could finish he gave my teeth a rake. then he jumped up real high in the air and both feet caught me with a flying mare. now, tell me again how all that wretling's fake! the he body slammed me two or three times. put his arms around me form behind and he pow drived me right there in the hard concrete! broke both my arms, three of my's the closest i've ever been killed and that's the last thing i remember before he put me to sleep!
blue cyclone. he's the meanest wrestler the ring has ever known. he'll make you moan, he'll make you groan. he'll lay you prone and break your bones. the blue cyclone, blue cyclone...
(end of part one)


Ray Stevens

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