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In most every cubicle-monkey's life, there is a person or team of people who do the jobs no one else even dares to even try to understand. they are our alpha geeks. our nerd buddies. our system administrators. and it is they who truly control your life. it is to them that you must bow down and admit your ignorance every time you do something stupid on your computer. you are right to fear them, for they can destroy every file on your computer, just by leaving it alone with you for the long weekend. they are the dark lords of the i.t. industry. invincible in their knowledge of the intricacies of nt networking protocols and cross-platform file recovery methods. some of them even have girlfriends. they control the information technology industry and they still want more. friday, july 26th has been designated system administrator day by the dark kobald that controls everything. you are encouraged to buy them lunches, or install home-theatre systems in their offices. they humiliate you when you forget your password, and now they want an appreciation day? well i for one say; let's give it to's not like we have a choice.
There's a guy who works in another room,
or, on another floor.
he's the one you call,
when your document ain't there no more.
he's probably a boy, but he might be a girl,
or, something in-between.
he's the only one in the building
who knows what pc load-letter means.
he's your system administrator.
he probably reads comic books.
and you tremble in fear when you have to hear one of his,
"what a dummy", looks.
got a virus, lost your password or you just can't print?
in an hour he'll show and then he'll crouch and squint.
fight to save your files, he might be there all day.
but sometimes, he just presses caps lock...and he walks away...
but hey! suddenly my password works! hooray!
hooray, happy syst. admin. day,
gonna buy my guy a gift to say:
"having you around means i get to stay
stupid! and uninformed!"
and i can keep opening .exe e-mail attachments,
and forgetting my mother's maiden name,
and naming files with spaces
and ampersands and colons,
'cause you'll fix it all for me!
I'll give you a cake,
i'll give you a hug,
i'll buy "the world's best
system administrator" mug,
just help me out...
system administrator!
delete my recently viewed websites file!
restore my network settings so i can find my f drive!
argh! plug in my mouse!
Piss him off,
and you'll be fired by tomorrow morn,
cause he's the guy
who knows that you were surfing porn.
so july 26th....
make sure you get a present for your...


Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie

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