Malaise

LETRA

Malaise

The freeze up
came after early dreams and beat the alarm clock
so where was the dark cloud?
i tucked it in the night before
i looked behind everything
the mirror was daydreaming,
my refection as holy as cops at strip clubs –
not quite sick and not quite well
this was not heaven, was not hell
First night’s dream:
i could not hold onto things
all polite greetings became missed opportunities
my stomach breeding butterflies,
i woke up underground.
Second night:
i was the star witness
the prosecution crumbled leaving shaky kneed criminals at my defense
we flew into the night like first time drunks and felt nothing

healthy days are here again
no more narration and violins
if i believe that nothing is wrong
then i’ll be shaking hands
with charades and vitamins
Hand to shoulder
blade to skin
and bones are strong
hold your breath until you smile that certain smile
the air is a clean cut
nothing itches
nothing aches
hold your breath until it breaks
everything is perfect when you can’t feel a thing
keep it covered
keep it clean
hold your breath until you scream
healthy days are here again and your cashing in
It’s amazing
i’m up at sunrise and i’m running for the door
keep going ‘til the edge of the earth and back to work
We’ll rendezvous at the end of this last cigarette
and run to the clean air capitol of the world
we’ll shoot the shit with cap guns so no words hit the page – that’s clean living
lift heavy things in a way that never hurts
all smiles
no sunburns
that consistently loud noise is a band of angels
meet me at the end of our last day on earth
we’ll race to california in shoes with rocks for souls
small talking ‘til death throws his two cents in
we’ll ask each other what we were running from
and realize that noise has us embraced but really annoyed.
That’s that
you have to laugh
you fell for it
you felt the same as everyone
now you’re back
so learn to like
to itch
and ache
and break more than anyone
Hooray for ____ !!!!
the return came after early dreams that smashed the alarm clock
i hugged my favorite dark cloud
i could not hold on to things
all polite greetings were returned with a smile
my stomach’s cast with iron
fortune woke me up safe and warm
second night:
i was the last witness
the prosecution fired, left me shaky-kneed and criminal
with no defense
we flew into the night got jumped, and i felt it all.