We drank bottled water together and talked business,
I think I played the right moves, You were looking
over my shoulder,
as I went through the motions of another night.
And it was alright, because I thought I knew
who everybody was just by looking at them.
My heart is anywhere but here.
And how tired I was from the past couple weeks,
from the past couple years, well it hit me all at once.
On a balcony overlooking nothing, with snow falling all around,
I called just to say good-night.
And you hadn't done anything wrong, really, it's me not you.
I can't believe how naive I was to think things
could ever be so simple. And can you live with
what you know about yourself,
when you're all alone, behind closed doors,
the things we never said but we always knew were right there.
It's got me on my knees in a bathroom,
praying to a god I don't even believe in,
"Dear jesus...are you listening?"
If this is the one chance that really matters,
don't let me f*** this up. If you had told me
about all this when I was fifteen, I never
would have believed it.....